Funny Blast From the Past

I should preface this post by saying that I have been busy gathering memorabilia to scrapbook for our oldest son's graduation next year and came across an e-mail sent to my sister that I had printed. Thought it was funny enough to share. I can still remember this like it happened yesterday!

Excerpt from an e-mail to my sister dated March 1996:

Today is my anniversary and I almost forgot. It would have never occurred to me except that Gail called about having her yard mowed and I went to write it on the calendar and saw the sticker I had put on there that it was our anniversary. I thought, oh my gosh! It's my anniversary and I didn't even give it one single thought! I wondered if David had (he always remembers, I always forget) so I tried to catch him forgetting. I beeped him and he called. I was just going to act like, Oh, hello, but before I could say anything beyond hello he said happy anniversary. So he did remember! I can't believe 12 years, can you?

We had some major excitement today. You know how I am about little critters in my house? Well let me tell you what happened. I was in the living room polishing furniture and August, Jac, Robert, Ryan and Leighton were rolling trucks back and forth on the kitchen floor. All of a sudden August comes running up to me and says, "Mom, we caught a mouse!" (He was very excited, I was horrified!) I knew David had put traps out but I didn't ask where or any other questions because that's a daddy job and I really didn't want to know. I said, "Oh, my gosh! Where?!?" He said, "you know that cabinet in there that has the thing on it so Leighton can't get in it? (yeah, right!)" I said, "you mean where my cleaning stuff is (hoping he meant no other cabinet)." He said, "no, no, you know where your glass stuff is." I said, "Oh, my God, you don't mean where my dishes are! Is it dead, is it moving, is it bloody???!!! YUK!" They they all started dancing around the room singing, "we caught a mouse, we caught a mouse...!" I was repulsed but managed to gather my wits and beep David to chew him out. He called and I said, "why didn't you check the traps?!? It's my anniversary (something I just remembered) and there's a mouse in my cabinet!" He said, "My gosh, Darla, it's no big deal, just get one of my gloves in the garage, get it out, you don't even have to touch the mouse, just touch the trap, put it outside in a bag and I'll take care of it when I get home." I said, "I can't do that! You need to come home and get this mouse out of my cabinet, I can't even walk by it!" He said, "I can't leave work. Just get it out." He hears the singing in the background and suggests I do something or the kids will never leave it alone. I know he is right but I just can't bring myself to even look in there much less stick my hand in there. So then I start thinking out loud of who we can call to get it out (the kids offer numerous suggestions - like Mr. Scott but I fear he will not be able to find his way home). Suddenly August says, "I'll get it Mom. I'm brave." Ah, at last a solution to the problem. My five year old hero. Doesn't sound like a bad idea to me either as long as I don't have to look at it. Meanwhile Ryan is trying to calm me down by saying, "It's alright Ms. Darla. It's just a mouse. It's dead. It's not moving." Some how or other I end up on the phone with Daddy and I tell him about it. He keeps referring to the mouse in my cabinet as a rat which really unnerves me. I keep reminding him that it is a mouse not a rat! The preparations begin. I go get a rubber glove in the garage, double bag a paper sack and call August to the scene. All the other little ones are gathered around the cabinet looking in saying they want to see it before he puts it in the bag. Leighton keeps running up and reaching in as though he is going to get it. The suspense heightens. August crouches down, looks in, reaches out and suddenly loses his nerve. "I can't do it!" he tells his mother cowering at the kitchen door with her shirt over her face. Mom let's out a sigh of relief because she doesn't know what to do with it once it's out of the kitchen cabinet anyway! Then another solution presents itself as Jacquelyn steps forward with a twisted look on her face, rubbing her hands in a very scientific way and volunteers for the job. (Keep in mind that this is not something I am forcing them to do and continue to remind them that if they can't do it, it's okay, we will just wait until Daddy comes home. The thought makes me cringe. I think I may have to camp out at McDonald's for the remainder of the day). Now of course I think Jacquelyn will get the mouse, you know how she is. So we change out the glove from one kid to the next and she crouches in front of the door. Alas, her arm is too short and she wants me to scoot it forward. How can I see the mouse to scoot it if I have my shirt over my face I tell her!! Then August gathers all his courage and volunteers again. The glove goes back on, he crouches, and eureka pulls out a dead mouse as the crowd oohs and aahs and he pounds his chest with both fists like Tarzan and lets out a yell and says, "see I told you I was brave!" I don't think he knew he could do it until it was all over. I herd them to the door to throw it in the trash can (trap and all, I don't care what they cost!) and our days resorts back to normal. Thank goodness!