Lost in Translation

I should start this post by explaining the title. It is an attempt to explain what happened at our home in the wee hours of the morning today and also my hope that in the telling of this story that it will not lose it's eventual hilarity.

Around 5:00 this morning there was a very frantic knock on our front door. No, let me correct myself...it was frantic banging and yelling. I woke up and asked David what it was and he said, "someone is at the door." Duh! I don't think too clearly when I first wake up! Anyway, as we both made our way to the door Cameron had already answered it. It was still dark outside and all I remember is a lady yelling and I heard the words "fire" and "old man". As I looked out I could see a blaze across the street and I quickly turned around to grab the phone to call 911. As I turned around, the rest of the family was behind me as we were all now wide awake. I didn't realize the lady at our door was a neighbor from down the street. I don't know what I was thinking at the time...I actually don't do so well in times of crisis. I kind of have a tendency to pant and hyper ventilate! I guess I thought that someone was driving by, saw a fire and was looking for someone to call the fire department...which I did. The 911 operator informed me that it had already been called in and that she had just seen the fire truck pass by on their way.

Now, here is where I have some explaining to do. I should explain that we are not a 1950's type of family who slumber peacefully every night in our pajamas. So here we have AT the door and tumbling OUT of the door people in their t-shirts and underwear, tighty whities and totally nude! You see, some of my children are not very modest and upon hearing the screaming and panic this morning one among us had actually stepped out on the front porch wearing only his birthday suit and that SOMEONE was none other than our very own Bubba! and like me, he had heard the words "old man" and "fire". Knowing that we have a very dear neighbor across the street I guess he was racing out the door to save him. In the confusion, I thought she was saying that there was a truck on fire and there was an old man inside. In any event it took Bubba a couple of minutes to realize he didn't have any clothes on! As I put the phone back on the charger and turned to face outside I saw his very bare bum! He must have realized it at that moment too because he turned around and said, "Oh, crap, I need to get some clothes on!" Meanwhile, Cameron was standing at the corner on her cell phone with a 911 operator in her t-shirt and underwear! Sheesh!!

Eventually we figured out what Norma (the knocking neighbor) was saying. She had heard the fire when it started and called it in, but 20 minutes later still no fire truck. She had been trying to wake our other neighbor who lives in the house next door to where the fire was because she was afraid his house was going to catch on fire. The bedroom where he and his wife sleep was very close to where the fire was. I am sure she was having a difficult time getting him to the door because he wears hearing aids which I doubt he sleeps in. In defense of the fire department, they are a volunteer force and most of the time when a fire occurs they are called from home and that is why the response time is a little longer than usual. David did manage to wake our neighbor and his wife to alert them, the fire department arrived and quickly doused the flames but it was pretty scary! No one was hurt but our neighbor did lose one of his trucks and possibly a second truck parked next to it. His carport has some damage too, but thankfully no one was hurt.

When we got back inside everyone decided they were going back to bed (except David). That was easier said than done...we were just a little hyper. Leighton came in my room and got in bed with me and he said, "man, Mom, I could just see Bubba on the front page of the newspaper with no clothes on holding an old man in his arms. The headline would read "ELDERLY MAN SAVED FROM FLAMES BY NUDE BOY!" Bubba's take on this? "Man, I'm mad...I thought I was going to get the key to the city!" Uh, I don't think so!

All is well and thank goodness for alert neighbors. I just hope everyone was as distracted to Bubba's nudity as we were but somehow I doubt it!

Until next time...